Nine Reasons not to get Married Again

[Beer Gut]

According to my SIL, she wouldn't remarry because she'd lose the money.

Even though she'd retired from a Federal job, she was getting alimony.  Yep, in this day and age.



None of that other stuff mattered as much as the money.

[Rejaneration]

According to my SIL, she wouldn't remarry because she'd lose the money.

Even though she'd retired from a Federal job, she was getting alimony.  Yep, in this day and age.



None of that other stuff mattered as much as the money.

Good for her.

[Ileneforward]

The only disatisfaction I have with being married is the chronic struggle against being treated like the concierge of a bed and breakfast.    
We both work fulltime, but yes I do the shopping and cleaning, and that is okay, ....but remarks when the cleaning isn't up to his standard, or we run out of something he wants (peanut butter!)    Scrub it yourself then!
Since he is gone 3 days in a row, that part is good.    But I do worry about when we come to retirement time.  Maybe we should live in separate houses then........

[Magic Microbe]

The only disatisfaction I have with being married is the chronic struggle against being treated like the concierge of a bed and breakfast.    
We both work fulltime, but yes I do the shopping and cleaning, and that is okay, ....but remarks when the cleaning isn't up to his standard, or we run out of something he wants (peanut butter!)    Scrub it yourself then!
Since he is gone 3 days in a row, that part is good.    But I do worry about when we come to retirement time.  Maybe we should live in separate houses then........

Mother in law suite. He can go live in it for three days every week. 

[Ileneforward]

Mother in law suite. He can go live in it for three days every week. 

Brilliant!   I'll start convertng the egarage....

[srsly]

The only disatisfaction I have with being married is the chronic struggle against being treated like the concierge of a bed and breakfast.    
We both work fulltime, but yes I do the shopping and cleaning, and that is okay, ....but remarks when the cleaning isn't up to his standard, or we run out of something he wants (peanut butter!)    Scrub it yourself then!
Since he is gone 3 days in a row, that part is good.    But I do worry about when we come to retirement time.  Maybe we should live in separate houses then........

It's why I love being a sahm. I have no problem doing any of that mundane stuff, and it DOESN.T makes me feel less of a person because I know that even the most liberated working woman has to clean her toilet, wash her clothes, and cook for herself. And them some if they are married.

[omega lambda]

When I got divorced, I didn't think I would ever get married again, not because I was against it, but because it seemed impossible that I would date, meet someone and do the ever after thing.  But it happened, and I can tell you that #6 is, indeed, fabulous.  If I were to find myself single again, at this point, I can't imagine life with another person would ever be as easy and comfortable as this.  I'm pretty sure I would remain single.

[all-smiles]

According to my SIL, she wouldn't remarry because she'd lose the money.

Even though she'd retired from a Federal job, she was getting alimony.  Yep, in this day and age.



None of that other stuff mattered as much as the money.

  That's about all I have to say on that so nothing is used against me in court! 

The list looks pretty damn accurate from where I'm sitting; and I'll say that while #6 has some appealing parts, it also has so much heartbreak. Right now Sunday is our transition day so I just said bye to the boys for a week; it sucks to miss 50% of the things happening in your child's life and to have them cry that they miss you and don't want to go. The upside is that I'll get to go for a run this evening and clean the tornado of a house; the downside is that there will be no bedtime routine and sticky hugs and kisses or snuggles tonight 

I do think its amazingly beneficial for J and I to get that time as its really allowed us to strengthen and develop our relationship. I'm also thankful that there is not even a question of us having kids, another family, yada yada. I love that I control my life right now; it's been incredibly liberating and given me the chance to be 'me' again. And turns out I actually kinda like myself

[radial]

it's been incredibly liberating and given me the chance to be 'me' again. And turns out I actually kinda like myself

 

[Rejaneration]

I love that I control my life right now; it's been incredibly liberating and given me the chance to be 'me' again. And turns out I actually kinda like myself

Sing it, sista!

I have my kids 100% so I haven't seen the benefit of number 6.  Let's jsut say it has been challenging.

[Run Amok]

Sing it, sista!

I have my kids 100% so I haven't seen the benefit of number 6.  Let's jsut say it has been challenging.

Here too. Being the only one for everything is daunting at times.

[Clb]

It's why I love being a sahm. I have no problem doing any of that mundane stuff, and it makes me less of a person because I know that even the most liberated working woman has to clean her toilet, wash her clothes, and cook for herself. And them some if they are married.

It makes you less of a person for saying 'liberated working woman' like it's 1974, Helen Reddy.

[siamesedream]

It makes you less of a person for saying 'liberated working woman' like it's 1974, Helen Reddy.

-snicker-


 

[srsly]

It makes you less of a person for saying 'liberated working woman' like it's 1974, Helen Reddy.

Oh look, she dropped in to this thread to throw another zinger at me.

BTW, I had a typo in there somewhere in my post. I do think that the term liberated working woman is dated. It was coined by the feminists not realizing how ironic that term truly sounds.

[nwrirunner]

Good for her.

Yeah, it's great to play the victim and take advantage of someone else, I mean, the alternative would be responsibility. 

[Rejaneration]

Yeah, it's great to play the victim and take advantage of someone else, I mean, the alternative would be responsibility. 

Suuure.  Depending on the length of the marriage and the salaries involved, she deserves alimony...just as he would, if she was the main breadwinner.  It has nothing to do with being a victim.  It has everything to do with investing in someone else's career and supporting the family.  By whining about it, he is playing the victim.

[rocketgirl]

Suuure.  Depending on the length of the marriage and the salaries involved, she deserves alimony...just as he would, if she was the main breadwinner.  It has nothing to do with being a victim.  It has everything to do with investing in someone else's career and supporting the family.  By whining about it, he is playing the victim.

Granted it was just one side of the story, but a former coworker had to pay her ex-husband alimony AND he was awarded primary custody of their kids (because she sometimes travels for work).  She was steamed.  She'd paid for his school, and then (her story) he just never really looked for a job.  So by default, he took care of their kids.  She was PISSED.  (In reality, maybe a graphic arts degree was not that useful; most places do not hire graphic-specific people - they hire tech writers who can do graphics, or administrative assistants who can do graphics, or network administrators who can do graphics.  It's just not that highly valued here as a stand-alone skill.  It's entirely possible that he looked hard and didn't share quite how hard with her for feeling like a failure or something.)

Plenty of other people have made the age old, he/she who has the most lucrative job works, and he/she who doesn't stays home with the kid(s).  When a couple decides that together, in the case of a divorce, with the loss of skills and work-history and what-have-you due to a joint decision, hell yeah the court should consider that.

[rocketgirl]

But anyway...I am finding that while I like my house and all my space being mine, I might be flexible on that again someday.

[Rejaneration]

Granted it was just one side of the story, but a former coworker had to pay her ex-husband alimony AND he was awarded primary custody of their kids (because she sometimes travels for work).  She was steamed.  She'd paid for his school, and then (her story) he just never really looked for a job.  So by default, he took care of their kids.  She was PISSED.  (In reality, maybe a graphic arts degree was not that useful; most places do not hire graphic-specific people - they hire tech writers who can do graphics, or administrative assistants who can do graphics, or network administrators who can do graphics.  It's just not that highly valued here as a stand-alone skill.  It's entirely possible that he looked hard and didn't share quite how hard with her for feeling like a failure or something.)

Plenty of other people have made the age old, he/she who has the most lucrative job works, and he/she who doesn't stays home with the kid(s).  When a couple decides that together, in the case of a divorce, with the loss of skills and work-history and what-have-you due to a joint decision, hell yeah the court should consider that.

Yeah, women often get steamed when the shoe is on the other foot.  *shrug* 

But anyway...I am finding that while I like my house and all my space being mine, I might be flexible on that again someday.

Yeah.     In the right circumstance.






But anyway...I am finding that while I like my house and all my space being mine, I might be flexible on that again someday.
[/quote]

[Miss]

#10----> http://chrunners.net/forum/index.php?topic=97778.0